Updated: May 3, 2020
Unwanted behaviours such as anger and opposition arise when the demands of the environment outshine the child's ability to adapt.
This is the beginning of the cycle of unwanted behaviour and looks a lot like a child not following instructions. More often than not, a child struggles to shift gears to quickly meet our expectations, because they do not yet have the skills to do so.
Big emotions such as frustration or disappointment trigger the child's fight response (resistance) driving more unwanted behaviour.
Threats from a parent (yelling or ultimatums) then reinforce the child's need to fight, flight or freeze, thus cycle of unwanted behaviour continues.
Children will then look to find a safe person or place so they can regulate themselves back to a calm state.
They may run to another parent or hide their face away.
If they can not flight (run away) or freeze (hide) they will continue to fight, and so the cycle of unwanted behaviour continues.
Learn what to say, and how to be that safe for your children by scheduling a free session below: https://www.thenzsupernanny.co.nz/free-discovery-session
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