An angry child doesn't feel safe enough to find the words to tell you how they feel.
To reduce the fear you must calm the brain.
As children grow up their outward expression of frustration becomes more controlled, because their brain has integrated.
As children mature, they become capable of having their tears on the inside and using their words to express their feelings. They no longer have to physically act out, or cry in response to every frustration in order move through it.
You may have a STRONG natured explosive child,
a short-fused SOCIAL,
a victimized SENSITIVE or,
an imploding STRUCTURED Nature.
In any case, every child can benefit from anger management practice, taught by a calm, loving adult.
It starts with how we handle our own emotions in the face of theirs.
Whilst it is natural and understandable that our own level of frustration rises as we witness our children’s struggle, it’s up to us to keep ourselves in check.
It’s not always easy to remain calm, but in our parent-child relationships it is essential that we dig deep and then rise to the occasion when our children need us most. Many parents are still ‘a work in progress’ in this developmental area.
Mirror neurons are brain cells that react when a particular action is performed and when it is observed. So, all you have to do is be the behaviour you are wanting to see, in this case calm and safe.
This looks like empathy and validation.
Saying what you see such as;
"That didn't go as you planned"
"I'm right here with you"
When there is no threat of punishment or disapproval (even though aggression is not what we want to see) the child's brain can do it's thing - learn!
Find support for challenging parenting moments, at www.thenzsupernanny.co.nz